Tuesday, January 24, 2017

When Did Growing and Developing Become Shameful?

Her first step.
Her first words.
Her first birthday.
Her first goal, basket, hit, catch, victory.
Her first performance, presentation, recital.
Her first date,
Her 16th Birthday.
Her graduation.
Her fastest time, her highest jump.

We celebrate our children. We measure their growth, we even mark it on the door frame so they can see how tall they have grown.

When they grow enough to turn the car seat forward-facing.  When they no longer need training wheels, we cheer, celebrate, and look on with pride.

So why do we make our daughters ashamed of becoming women?
Why do we suddenly try to deny their growth and development?

When was the last time you heard of a father and mother celebrating or even recognizing their daughters first menstrual period. 

Yeah, there's blood.  There was also blood when you pierced her ears and that was a good day. 

What about when she starts to grow breasts?
Why does it suddenly become shameful to grow up, to develop?

Why do so many parents refuse to buy a bra until years too late?

Someone told me its because we know our daughters could be noticed sexually now. We know they could be objectified, leered at, and even assaulted because of their development.

So do we show them that the world is not only made up of objectifying males?  Do we show our daughters that we love them, and we are happy to see them progress and develop?

Let me give you a hypothetical that will never happen, because it would be way too creepy.

We mark our daughters height changes on the door frame.
Do we mark increases in her weight?
Do we mark increases in cup size?

No.  Because we know women are sexualized, and judged and shamed for their weight and their curves.

I'm not suggesting fathers measure their daughters sexual development and write it down.  But can we at least acknowledge it as being a good thing?  Can we make our daughters proud of their bodies, in every stage of life, in every moment?

When did growing and developing become shameful?  When it creeped into the home, and changed how we treat our own children. 

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