Will Power or Willingness Power?

I read a lot about addictions, go to a lot of 12 step meetings, and treat a lot of addicts.

I am finding that it really isn't about will power.  As I read the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book I found this:

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

I agree with that.  It doesn't excuse an addicts actions.  It doesn't relieve them of consequences, or tell others to just forgive and forget.  It simply points out the fact that it isn't about will power.

Then the AA book says this about a man who decided he was willing to try the 12 steps:

"The moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be."

That is how life works.  That is how God intended it to be.  This is like the age old question about Faith v. Works. 

Are we saved by grace, or by our actions?  Can an addict exert enough will power to overcome his addiction?  Can a sinner work hard enough to pay for his sins and be perfect?  Should everyone stop trying because we never can do enough?

It says in Ephesians "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God"
Then it says in James 2 "faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone."

WHICH IS IT???

I think the answer to my first question and this question are the same.  It's not about Will Power.  It's about Willingness Power.

When we admit we can't do it alone, and we are willing to seek the help of God - he gives us the ability.  We must be willing to place our faith in something greater than ourselves.  We must stop relying on our personal strength and will - at which point we are given exactly that strength and will which we lacked.

It's like C.S. Lewis said:
"In one sense, the road back to God is a road of moral effort, of trying harder and harder. But in another sense it is not trying that is ever going to bring us home. All this trying leads up to the vital moment at which you turn to God and say, "You must do this. I can't.” 

After we make that admission, and really beleive it - we then work with all our heart, might, mind, and strength (which God has given us) to do what we should.  We help others and avoid those things which we know destroy our lives.

We become WILLING to stop trying on our own.  We use Willingness Power, and are then granted the Will Power we could never attain by ourselves.

We are always responsible for our actions.  There is always a choice, and we always have access to the power to choose the right- The power is often not within us, but we can accept that power from above.

Forgiveness is Easy: We've Been Doing it Our Entire Lives

“I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a man’s bad actions, but not hate the bad man: or, as they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner.  For a long time I used to think this a silly straw-splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life - namely myself.  However much I might dislike my own cowardice, or conceit, or greed, I went on loving myself.  There had never been the slightest difficulty about it.” - C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity, p 177)
  

We all love ourselves.  We love our family, our school, our city, our country, our culture.  We love our political party, our opinions, our sense of humor, our wit.  We love our quirks, our unique view of the world, and we are willing to forgive our little imperfections because "we're inherently good people who occasionally make mistakes."

We forgive our own rudeness (because somebody had to say it)
We don't mind our own stereotypes (the stereotype wouldn't exist if it weren't true, right?)
We forgive our own dishonesty (it was an innocent lie, and no one got hurt)
We don't mind our own greed (at least we want it for the right reasons?)

The Golden Rule was never so applicable.  Instead of just "doing," how about we THINK of others as we think of ourselves?

We don't have to assume all people think the same way we do about all topics.  But might we assume that the reason for their view is just as valid as ours?

Can't we assume that people who make mistakes are just as good as us, they simply make different mistakes?

It reminds me of the phrase: "God, Help me to love those who sin differently than I."

We judge people.  We have to in order to live and get anything done.  But we don't have to be mean, or assign blame or evil intent to every action we think is bad.  We recognize bad behavior, we try to protect ourselves and others from being victims.  But we don't have to demonize the person making mistakes.  We can see them as they are - because they are just like us.