Friday, November 1, 2013

Book Review: The 5 Laws that Determine All of Life's Outcomes

Moved Me to Action.  That's what this book did for me.

At first - the book looks like all the rest: It's a business book written by a man who teaches others how to perform better and more efficiently to make more money.

The lessons within apply to everyone and can be used outside of business in most every walk of life.

That sounds an awful lot like dozens of other books I've read in the last 3 years:  
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
and the list goes on...

Is this just another "also ran?"

Luckily - it was refreshing and insightful.  How do I know?  Because it caused me to actually DO something.

I read books all the time.  Leadership books, parenting books, business books, marriage books, relationship books, therapy books, as well as religious books, scripture and church sermons.

In short - I read a lot of good advice written by smart people.

This book starts with quite the claim:  The author says the 5 laws are just like the law of Gravity: They are laws.  They affect everyone and everything equally. They are consistent, never change, don't show favoritism, or apply themselves differently based on morality or judgement.

I was pleasantly surprised when the author delivered on his claim. The things he teaches make sense, they are based on natural laws – cause and effect. He teaches us laws we’ve already known because we’ve observed them a thousand times over in our own lives, we just haven’t named them or figured out how to use them to our advantage.

I won’t name what the 5 Laws are here – because just writing the names or a one sentence description seems useless. Without the examples and explanations it doesn’t teach you anything. They would sound like empty affirmations that look good stenciled on an office wall, and are forgotten by everyone who reads them.

I WILL, however, write some of my favorite quotes from the book.  (To entice you to read it.)

“We find ourselves spending the work day thinking about being at home with the kids, while the time we actually spend with the kids finds us worrying about what’s going on at work. At work we dream of play, at play we stress about work. Yet the most successful people we know seem to have an abundance of time in spite of all the same sorts of activities, and even more, that also demand their attention” – p. 26
“The other person always determines the value that you create in a relationship.” – p. 111

“It’s impossible to immerse yourself in something you don’t want.” – p. 31

“The moment we make any type of investment in a given endeavor, we start to lose our sense of objectivity and it becomes difficult to reverse the course we’ve chosen, even if we know it’s leading us astray.” – p. 59

“Being a victim can elicit sympathy, attention, and pity, which are actually enticing counterfeits for the genuine love most humans crave.” – p. 131 

“His need to see himself as a great father was more important to him than actually being a great father.” – p. 71

“We almost always think we see the big picture. More so than those around us.” – p. 83

“What others see is the only thing that matters to them. It determines how they act and what they do. Unless we can see what they see, we won’t reach them.” – p. 94

“When we find ourselves feeling like someone doesn’t appreciate us or something we’re doing “for them,” then there’s a good chance we aren’t tapping in to what they value.” – p. 122

"When you’re in a conversation with another person, notice that there are usually two conversations going on” The verbal one, and the one in each person’s head “wherein we fill in the gaps with what we know or think we know about the other person and what they are saying.” – p. 138

“It’s funny how much more open people are with you when they know you see your own biases.” – p. 147

“The word ‘but’ immediately renders the first part of the statement as dishonest.” – p. 147

“The most accurate predictor of future events is, believe it or not, gambling… because people are betting real money, they are compelled to state how they really feel without the rhetoric that is likely to seep in when there is less at stake.” – p. 167

1 comment:

Jerri Kindig said...

I came to your site wanting to find a book on love and relationships and now I am intrigued on this one you posted about. Dime a dozen most books like these are, rarely does someone come up with something new and worth a try. I will have to check this one out. If you are needing a booik on love and relationships that has some very interesting ways to look at things try Wendy Brown's Why Love Succeeds or Fails. is her site, but her approach is pretty common sense straight forward and I appreciate that!