Book Review: Assisted, the Autobiograpy of John Stockton

*****

That's five stars: A grade befitting the book and the author.

This book shows you what you always suspected - that John Stockton is a great man, a humble man, a family man.    From the Naismith Hall of Fame, to the 1992 Olympic Dream Team, to the all time record holder for assists and steals, Stockton was the best pure point guard ever.

What does the book focus on?  His doubts, his worries, his uncertainty.  Why did he have to stay so fit?  Why did he try so hard?  Why did he stay with the same team his entire career?  Why did he always play even if he was sick?

He writes mostly about others - those who guided him and taught him.  He teaches us the best lessons he learned from his father, friends, coaches, owners, and teammates.  Stockton brings you into his life.  He lets you get to know him and his family, including all six of his kids.

He tells great stories: After he won the gold medal with the dream team in 1992, it took less than 4 hours for one of his sons to swing the gold medal around and around his finger till it flew off and got dinged on a metal cabinet.  4 hours to put a dent in a Dream Team Gold Medal, gotta love family (and he did).

Stockton quickly fired the only lawyer he ever hired for NBA contracts.  When he was drafted by the Utah Jazz he found out shortly after that he was "being difficult" and contract negotiations were falling through.  Stockton didn't know why so he went straight to the Jazz owner himself.  The two sat down together and in about 30 minutes they shook hands as a contract was signed.
That's how Stockton did all his contract negotiations - in person, alone, with the owner.  When the owner offered to make him the highest paid point guard in the NBA - Stockton declined,  He said "put me somewhere in the middle of the pack."

Why did he wear short shorts?  Because that's what he was first handed as a uniform, and he had no reason to change.  That's who he was.  You show up and you get the job done.  No complaining, no entitlements, just work and values.

Stockton teaches you in this book how to be a great father, a great teammate, and a great man. I loved it.

Too Good for a Job?

Here are the three stories I tell my kids, teenagers, and even adults when they tell me they can't find a job, or even better, they are "too good" or "too educated for a job."

STORY #1:  How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Through a potato field.

When I was sixteen years old, I auditioned for and earned a spot in my High School's top choir.  The choir had already been selected to sing in Carnegie Hall the following Spring. 
One problem. That trip would cost $1500 which was substantially more than I had made the last two summers working as a counselor at a Boy Scout summer camp.  I had made $100 the first summer, and $300 the second.
I now needed to make 5X that.

I asked around to all my friends and neighbors:  What job could a sixteen year old get that would pay $1500 in one summer?  The only answer I found was: Potato Roguer.

A what?

Exactly.  No one even knows what that is.  My job that summer was to arrive to work at 6 a.m., walk potato fields all day long in the mud and the heat with the sweat and sprinkler water and even pesticides dripping off me.  I was being paid to identify diseased potato plants and dig them up so that when the "purity inspectors" came through, the farmers would get a higher purity rating.

6 days a week for over 2 months - I walked from sun-up to sun-down with a shovel in my hands to dig out diseased potatoes.  The next spring... I was singing in Carnegie Hall.  The experience was amazing, and well worth two months of roguing.

STORY # 2: But I'm supposed to have a scholarship!

When I was a senior in high school I already knew my options for paying for college.  My parents told me long before that they couldn't afford tuition.  So I could either pay for it myself, or get a scholarship.

I decided to get a scholarship.

I figured out what ACT score and GPA I would need for a scholarship - and worked to get it.  My GPA ended up lower than I wanted, which means I needed a really high ACT score.  I had taken the test my freshman year - scored too low. I took a review course and tried again my sophomore year - still too low.  Junior year? - too low.  End of Junior year after another review course? -  still one point too low.

My senior year I was panicking. I took the ACT for a fifth time, but until the results came back, I was a nervous wreck.  I'd been accepted to the colleges I wanted, but all I had earned so far was "in-state tuition."  I already had a newspaper route which I did every morning,  It wouldn't pay enough for college.  So I got a second job washing dishes at Chili's.  I got up at 5:30 every morning to deliver newspapers, went to school all day (rehearsing for choir during my lunch hour) then went to track after school till 4:00 and then worked washing dishes from 5:30 p.m. till 1:00 a.m.

 - Luckily I didn't have to work like that for long.  My ACT score came back - and it was high enough for the full ride scholarship.  College was paid for, but only after being willing to work crazy hours for it.

STORY #3: What does a couple do with 2 bachelor's degrees while they're in medical school?  They deliver newspapers.

My wife and I had both graduated with our B.S. degrees a year before.  I was in medical school and my wife was raising our 1 soon to be 2 children.  We didn't have enough money.  The student loans for one med-student weren't enough to sustain of family of three.  So we started looking for side jobs.  Eventually she got a job substitute teaching in the elementary schools and I got a job as a valet at a country club, but what did we do for the month before we found those jobs?  We delivered newspapers.  230 of them every morning. 

What's my point?

Strive for the best jobs.  Study, get degrees, don't settle for less than you're worth.  BUT while on the journey - do what you have to do.  Work any job.  You're never too good for a job, you're only too good to stay there permanently. 

Book Review: Blink

The book that makes you think by telling you not to.

Malcom Gladwell is an expert at his trade.  He takes everyday things we all know but can't explain - then he finds a news story as an example and a research study to back up his findings, and then writes a brilliant narrative weaving it all together.

His point in this book?  Our minds judge things instantly, without our input, and without telling us how or why.

He starts off by talking about a statue called a "kouros."  They are thousands of years ago, and only about 200 still exist.

A new one came on the market, and it was the most complete, best preserved one ever found.  The buyer had it tested, had the stone x-rayed and examined and chemically analyzed and proved it was real.  Then he bought it for $10 million.
When a "kouros" expert was brought to see it and the sheet was taken off to unveil the masterpiece - the expert immediately felt uncomfortable.  Something was wrong.  "Have you paid for this?" asked the expert.  "If you have, try to get your money back."

He knew it was a fake.  He couldn't say why, he just knew.  The stone was old, the carving appeared accurate for the period - but SOMETHING was wrong. 

Of course - he turned out to be right.  His mind - due to his experience and expertise could instantly tell that it was fake, even though he couldn't tell the owner why.  He couldn't point out at first WHAT was wrong, he just knew.

Another example from the book is a study about people asked to try a new gambling game.  They could draw cards from 2 decks - red or blue.  The blue cards were slightly better than the red cards.  You'd win more often drawing from the blue deck.

After drawing an average of 40 cards the gamblers would tell the examiners that they thought the blue deck was better.  When the researchers looked at the gambler's card drawing tendencies during the experiment, they found it took only 8 cards before the gamblers "preferred" the blue deck and drew more often from it.

The gambler's minds had already figured out which deck was better, even though their "conscious" mind wouldn't know it for another 32 cards.  Our minds figure things out in the "blink" of an eye.

He gives many more examples, and they are equally compelling.

Then Gladwell does something you don't expect - he shows the ugly side.  He shows us that our minds make instant judgments and determinations, but we can be horribly wrong.  He gives the example of police officers who's minds instantly determined someone to be a threat.  The undercover police saw a gun, fired on and killed the suspect, only to later discover that the person had done nothing wrong.  The suspect thought they were trying to mug him, and he was holding out his black wallet to give it to them to avoid being shot.

This book shows us the power (for good and bad) of our instantaneous subconscious.  It talks about why women are still paid less, and why they are still "thought of" as less capable, even though their employers will swear they have no prejudice against women.

It shows that there is a group that is oppressed in the workplace even more than women... short people.  I wrote an entire blog post about Gladwell's findings Here."

There is good news.  You can train your subconscious.  You can make your snap decisions better, more accurate, more reliable.  Gladwell shows you how.

Gladwell succeeded with this book.  His book "Outliers" is still better, but this one is VERY good.

Book Review: David and Goliath

Genius.

This book shows you why the things we all THINK are advantages - often aren't. Goliath never had a chance against David. The result should have been known by everyone long before the "battle" took place. But everyone was looking at what they THOUGHT was an advantage - size.

Put a big slow soldier in full armor against a slinger - and who do you think is going to win? The guy who can only stab someone within 6 feet, or the guy who has been killing wolves at 100 paces his whole life and has a completely empty field to fight one guy.

The slinger is going to win every time. If they were in the middle of a battle field, people all around, no room to run or move - then Goliath would have a huge advantage. But the circumstances of the battle dictated the result. They put them one-on-one in an empty field. It is an underdog story - but Goliath was the underdog.

Is going to Harvard better than going to a state school?

Maybe not. Yet no one accepted to Harvard is going to say "no thanks" and go to a state school instead - because they THINK Harvard gives them an advantage. Gladwell provides studies, stats, and real stories that would make everyone reconsider.

You want your kid to succeed in school, so you look for a school with smaller class sizes. Are smaller class sizes always better??? Think again.

Gladwell makes you rethink what you've always assumed, and sheds REAL light into our shadowlands.

Book Review: The 5 Laws that Determine All of Life's Outcomes

Moved Me to Action.  That's what this book did for me.

At first - the book looks like all the rest: It's a business book written by a man who teaches others how to perform better and more efficiently to make more money.

The lessons within apply to everyone and can be used outside of business in most every walk of life.

That sounds an awful lot like dozens of other books I've read in the last 3 years:  
7 Habits of Highly Effective People

21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership

Good to Great

Crucial Conversations

The One Minute Manager 

Leadership and Self-Deception,The Anatomy of Peace,Outliers, The Tipping Point,Multipliers,

and the list goes on...

Is this just another "also ran?"

Luckily - it was refreshing and insightful.  How do I know?  Because it caused me to actually DO something.

I read books all the time.  Leadership books, parenting books, business books, marriage books, relationship books, therapy books, as well as religious books, scripture and church sermons.

In short - I read a lot of good advice written by smart people.

This book starts with quite the claim:  The author says the 5 laws are just like the law of Gravity: They are laws.  They affect everyone and everything equally. They are consistent, never change, don't show favoritism, or apply themselves differently based on morality or judgement.

I was pleasantly surprised when the author delivered on his claim. The things he teaches make sense, they are based on natural laws – cause and effect. He teaches us laws we’ve already known because we’ve observed them a thousand times over in our own lives, we just haven’t named them or figured out how to use them to our advantage.

I won’t name what the 5 Laws are here – because just writing the names or a one sentence description seems useless. Without the examples and explanations it doesn’t teach you anything. They would sound like empty affirmations that look good stenciled on an office wall, and are forgotten by everyone who reads them.

I WILL, however, write some of my favorite quotes from the book.  (To entice you to read it.)

“We find ourselves spending the work day thinking about being at home with the kids, while the time we actually spend with the kids finds us worrying about what’s going on at work. At work we dream of play, at play we stress about work. Yet the most successful people we know seem to have an abundance of time in spite of all the same sorts of activities, and even more, that also demand their attention” – p. 26
 
“The other person always determines the value that you create in a relationship.” – p. 111

“It’s impossible to immerse yourself in something you don’t want.” – p. 31

“The moment we make any type of investment in a given endeavor, we start to lose our sense of objectivity and it becomes difficult to reverse the course we’ve chosen, even if we know it’s leading us astray.” – p. 59

“Being a victim can elicit sympathy, attention, and pity, which are actually enticing counterfeits for the genuine love most humans crave.” – p. 131 

“His need to see himself as a great father was more important to him than actually being a great father.” – p. 71

“We almost always think we see the big picture. More so than those around us.” – p. 83

“What others see is the only thing that matters to them. It determines how they act and what they do. Unless we can see what they see, we won’t reach them.” – p. 94

“When we find ourselves feeling like someone doesn’t appreciate us or something we’re doing “for them,” then there’s a good chance we aren’t tapping in to what they value.” – p. 122

"When you’re in a conversation with another person, notice that there are usually two conversations going on” The verbal one, and the one in each person’s head “wherein we fill in the gaps with what we know or think we know about the other person and what they are saying.” – p. 138

“It’s funny how much more open people are with you when they know you see your own biases.” – p. 147

“The word ‘but’ immediately renders the first part of the statement as dishonest.” – p. 147

“The most accurate predictor of future events is, believe it or not, gambling… because people are betting real money, they are compelled to state how they really feel without the rhetoric that is likely to seep in when there is less at stake.” – p. 167

Book Review: Ender's Game

Third time I've read this book - yeah, it's that good.

A fast paced journey through space - all through the eyes of a six year old.  For being a Sci-Fi novel about a war with aliens named Buggers and genius children under age 10 who are trained to be military elite fighters by the time their 16 - this book is surprisingly realistic.

It's because of the emotion.  This book will not be easy to make into a movie - at least it won't have the same feeling or depth. 
Yes the book is thrilling with a great plot, amazing descriptions of war games, battle school, and futuristic space travel.  The special effects alone would make Michael Bay drool for hours.

But over 1/2 the book is nothing but Ender's thoughts.  You REALLY get to know this character.  you know his hopes, his fears, his dreams, his nightmares, how he views each room he encounters, each situation, each person, each battle. 

What makes this book amazing is the depth of Ender. 

Yes there is some language, and yes there is violence - but about ten times less than Hunger Games.

Ender's Game is a joy to read.  I recommend it - and hope the movie doesn't destroy it.



P.S.  The sequel's - "Speaker for the Dead" and "Xenocide" - are boring, dull, and awkward.  "Ender's Shadow" however is genius, and I would recommend reading it next.

Tough Mudder Tahoe - First Time Advice

I have only run one Tough Mudder. (I'm wearing the bright yellow in the picture)

I have never run a marathon, nor a half marathon.  I was never in the military, never went to boot camp, and until 5 months ago I hadn't run 3 miles since High School.

I also don't have tons of money to spend on the nicest running gear.

(if this sounds like you, my advice might help you out)

I signed up for the Tough Mudder because I wanted to get in shape.  I knew if I signed up for something ridiculously hard and paid over $100 for it - I would force myself to train for it.

Here are my 6 tips.

1. Sign Up Early (It's much cheaper)
2. Train For It (running and upper body strength)
3. Wet Test Your Clothes (soak yourself from head to toe and run 3 miles - then see what hurts and what retained water)
4. Talk To Someone Who Has Done Your Course (ie - get the tips unique to your course)
5. Run As A Team (so much more fun and it's great to help and be helped along the way)
6. Take a Camera (makes it more fun to remember and share with others)

Here's Why:

1. SIGN UP EARLY - I signed up 5 months ahead of time.  This made it cheaper (by $40) and also gave me plenty of time to train, recruit teammates, watch videos and talk to former Mudders who could give me advice.

2. TRAIN FOR IT - Five months ago I was not in shape at all.  I hadn't run since I did Cross Country in High School, and I hadn't lifted weights since 8th grade.
I started by running 1-3 miles every other day, and doing some 10 minute pilates videos for abs and arms.  I realized pretty quickly that this would get my legs in shape - but not my arms. That was when I decided to borrow P90X from a friend, and start it 90 days before the Tough Mudder.  I did it as scheduled, every day, for 14 weeks.  I started out doing 10-15 pull-ups total over the hour long workout, and ended up doing 52 pull-ups over the same time by the end. 
When the Tough Mudder came along - I didn't fall into the water on a single obstacle.  I made it over every single one just fine and still had arm strength to boot.  The training paid off big time.  When I got to Everest at the end - I still had plenty of strength to run up and make it to the top no problem.  I wasn't very sore the next day - I still went to church, and then work on Monday.  I feel great.  TRAIN HARD!

3. WET TEST YOUR CLOTHES - Do this 2-3 weeks before your race.  I did it 6 days before my race.  That was when I learned that my cotton running socks absorb tons of water, and that my wet running shirt rubbed across my chest and caused some painful nipple chaffing.  I then wore band-aids the rest of the week and during the TM race to avoid more nipple chafing.  I even took 3 extra pair of band-aids and did have to use one extra set because my starting pair fell off in the water.
I spent $7 on dri-fit running socks and $14 for a long-sleeve dri-fit shirt.  (yes I could have spent $30-$90 for those things - but I'm cheap and shop around)
You will get soaked early and often - like on this event:  The Cage Crawl

4. TALK TO SOMEONE WHO HAS DONE YOUR COURSE - I watched the TM youtube videos on-line and thought that the "Mud Mile" was going to be one of the HARDEST obstacles ever.  Well - not at the Lake Tahoe course.  Tahoe is all rock - so the mud mile is really just muddy water between rocky burms - you can walk through the whole thing no problem.  The killer obstacle is Kiss The Mud when you're army crawling on your hands and knees over muddy rocks.  This is when I was glad I had spoken with a friend who did the course 3 months ago.  They told me "Long Pants and Long Sleeves, otherwise the rocks will rip your knees and forearms to shreds."
I listened, and did just fine.  Most people were in shorts, and short sleeves or shirtless - and they all got cut up terribly by the rocks.

5. RUN AS A TEAM - I was really fit and prepared for this race and I feel that I could have run more of it than I did.  But we had a member of our team that started having knee trouble near the beginning and needed to walk most of the course.  We all stayed together, helped each other through every obstacle, and had a blast.  All 5 of us completed the course. Yes, we took over 5 hours, which is longer than most - but the point was teamwork, not a fast time.  We have great pictures of all of us with our headbands on, satisfied that we came, we saw, we conquered.  We can now all talk about it with pride, and reminisce on the great and hilarious moments our team had together.

6. TAKE A CAMERA - I can't afford a GoPro Camera.  They cost between $200 and $400.  One of my teammates owns two of them and he brought both.  They made this event 10x more memorable. 
We also had one teammate's wife come as a "Spectator" and she took pictures at about 4 different obstacles.  Her pictures are priceless, like the "Before and After" pics at the top.

Completing the Tough Mudder was great.  Being able to show friends and family the pictures and videos of all of us going through the obstacles and reliving it over and over again is priceless.  I laugh hysterically when I hear myself screaming like a girl in the Arctic Enema video.  (see below) My friend wore the camera - and as he finished and was getting out of the container - I jumped in - screamed 3 octaves higher than any male should, and made it out of the ice before he did.

I've already pre-registered for the Tough Mudder next year - it was that great.