Book Review: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Part 2

3 months later I'm finally finishing my review of this book.  (Part 1 reviewed here)

I appreciate the fact that the author is humble.  He states again and again that he did not discover anything new, or invent the principles found in the book.  As Covey says:

"I did not invent the seven habits, they are universal principles and most of what I wrote about is just common sense. I am embarrassed when people talk about the Covey Habits, and dislike the idea of being some sort of guru."
"I have found the principles contained in the seven habits in all six major world religions and have actually drawn upon quotations from sacred writings of those religions when teaching in those cultures."

He recognizes that life or business based on tactics or behaviors is not enough.  Even basing life on values is not enough - unless those values are based on universal principles.  I wrote a blog post recently stemming from his ideas: Three Degrees of Happiness.

I loved the second half of his book because it is about moving from "independence to interdependence."

Covey makes a big deal of the shift in paradigm: Dependence - Independence - Interdependence.

It made me think about political parties (since the presidential election just happened).

I thought: Stereotypically the Republican party proclaims itself to be the party of "Independence."  You do everything on your own; you pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  The government should be small and stay out of the way.

The trouble came when I tried to characterize the Democratic Party.  Is it the party of "Dependence?" They say we are all dependant on others and should be obligated to help each other.  The government should follow that same mandate.
OR
Is it the party of "Interdependence?"  The people can exist on their own, they don't "need" others but they recognize that much more can be done with others than on your own.  They see that humans are synergistic and the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

I don't know the answer.  I think both parties have great interdependent people, good independent people, and needy dependent people.

ANYWAY - that's what the book makes you do.  It makes you think, evaluate, reconsider, see things in a new light, and try to see how to make things better all around you.  It makes you work on yourself, and then expand your influence to help all those around you.

I read this book every few years to help me do a "course correction."  I recommend it for everyone.


Favorite Quotes:

You can't be successful with other people if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself. - p. 185

You can't talk your way out of problems you behave yourself into. - p. 186

Make what is important to the other person as important to you as the other person is to you. - p. 191

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty .  Honesty is telling the truth - in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words - in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. - p. 195

Be loyal to those who are not present. - p. 196

The key to the ninety-nine is the one... It's how you treat the one that reveals how you regard the ninety-nine - p. 197

If you're going to bow, bow low. - p. 198

Dag Hammarskjold - "It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses."- p. 201

Habit 4:  Think Win/Win

People are not graded against their potential, or against the full use of their present capacity.  They are graded in relation to other people. - p. 208

"Who's winning in your marriage?" is a ridiculous question.  If both people aren't winning, both are losing. - p. 209

Emotional Maturity: The ability to express one's own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others. - p. 217

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

You listen with reflective skills, but you listen with intent to reply, to control, to manipulate. - p. 240

Satisfied needs do not motivate - p. 241

The human dynamic is more important than the technical dimensions of the deal. - p. 242

You can play twenty questions all day and never find out what's important to someone.  Constant probing is one of the main reasons parents do not get close to their children. - p. 245

Our perceptions can be vastly different.  And yet we have both lived with our paradigms for years, thinking they are 'facts,' and questioning the character or the mental capacity of anyone who can't 'see the facts.' - p. 254

Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration - p. 255

Habit 6: Synergize

We seek not to imitate the Masters, rather we seek what they sought. - p. 269

How much time is spent in confessing other people's sins, politicking, rivalry, interpersonal conflict, protecting ones backside, masterminding, and second guessing? - p. 274

All people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.  If I think I see the world as it is, why would I want to value anyone with a different opinion?  Why would I even want to bother with someone who's "off track?"  My paradigm is that I am objective; I see the world as it is.  Everyone else is buried by the minutia, but I see the larger picture.  That's why they call me a supervisor - I have super vision. - p. 277

If two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary... I don't want to talk, to communicate with someone who agrees with me; I want to communicate with you because you see it differently.  I value that difference. - p. 278

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

It makes no difference whether you are a mailman, a hairdresser, an insurance salesman, a housewife - whatever.  As long as you feel you are serving others, you do the job well.  When you are concerned only with helping yourself, you do it less well - a law as inexorable as gravity. - p. 293

Martin Luther - "I have so much to do today, I'll need to spend another hour on my knees." - p. 294

David O. McKay - The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul." - p. 294

Proactive people can figure out many, many ways to educate themselves. - p. 295

The person who doesn't read is no better off than the person who can't read. - p. 296

I do not agree with the popular success literature that says that self-esteem is primarily a matter of mind set, of attitude - that you can psych yourself into peace of mind.  Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way. - p. 298

GOETHE - Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.  Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be. - p. 301

True Financial Independence: It's not having wealth, it's having the power to produce wealth.  It's intrinsic. - p. 304

Anwar Sadat - He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress - p. 317